You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…

Thanks to Jon Eisen, the editor of Uncensored Magazine, for sending this.

You are capable of critical thinking.

You distrust mainstream media.

You like nature.

You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China.

You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane.

You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda.

You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search.

You have read a book in the past year.

You think you have the right to protest.

You think the War on Terror is a scam.

You think the War on Drugs is a scam.

You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are.

You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country.

You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act.

You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are.

You question whether the government loves you.

You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs.

You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watch is RT, especially the Keiser Report and Capital Account.

You don’t think the NDAA is the name of Kesha’s latest single.

You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs.

You think corporations aren’t people.

You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist.

You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream.  He’s still a bad guy.

You know that gold was made illegal by FDR in 1933 and confiscated from the American people.  You know that gold bullion remained illegal for Americans to own until 1975.

You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines.  If they are unable, their children should go.

You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming.

You grow your own food.

You buy raw milk.

You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations.

You are aware that the Department of Homeland Security has purchased 1.2 billion rounds of ammo in the past year.

You question whether said ammo purchases are in anticipation of a Normandy beach style landing by Al Qaeda.

You think allowing a small group of unelected people (The Federal Reserve) to print unlimited amounts of money and distribute it as they please might not be a good idea.

If you answered yes to more than five of the above, you might be a conspiracy theorist.  You also may be on the government’s terror watch list.  Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought. 

Best of luck comrades,
Mike

This entry was posted in Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…

  1. shaun laughton. says:

    damn it i thought i was normal,,,, better march myself off for re education!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Kay says:

    Can I hitch a ride Shaun? I’d take my car but it seems to have decided to run on Gold Bricks.

    • shaun laughton. says:

      no wories kay, for the first time in my life ive got a car that dosent rince all my dosh, so if the thought police dont have room for you on the re education camp cattle trains, il pick you up, il start your re education now, wright down 100 times, my government loves me and i must stop thinking for myself, youl feel better in no time atall !!!!!

      • Kay says:

        my government wants to kick my arse
        my government wants to kick my arse
        my government wants to kick my arse
        my government wants to kick my arse
        my government wants to kick my arse
        You know you are a conspiracy theorist when…. lol
        .

      • shaun laughton. says:

        love it !!

  3. Marian says:

    I’m surprised there’s not a compulsory anti-conspiracy-theorist vaccination…They’ve got them for everything else

  4. Sarah says:

    The greatest conspiracy of all is the one passing you all right by guys. We elect politicians and give them control of our food, shelter, health, environment and finances. The world we live in is under the control of those men. The new disasters are made by men. Religion, the wars, the medicines and education are orchestrated by male decree. The four men to every one woman worldwide representation in Government is way out of balance. Those men have had it this way along time, that is History, and have we learned from that? Well sure, we know there are few women criminals, compared to men. Rival women politicians have been shown in studies to cooperate over projects more easily than men. Results show women exhibit more kindness and empathy than men. Men behave better in front of women. Make the boys put away their toys. Create a blood free resolution.
    Set it up for success, have Equal Gender Governments. Wave for it March 8th 12.30 Everywhere.
    http://www.equity4all.org.nz/
    http://www.petitiononline.co.nz/petition/equal-gender-government-for-new-zealand/1457
    http://ashleywiseblog.blogspot.co.nz/

    • Thanks for your comment Sarah. I question the power our politicians have. I think our politicians, in some ways at least, function as puppets for those with a global agenda, such as those who run the World Bank, Big Pharma, the Federal Reserve Bank, the UN, and the WTO. This is why our politicians will not admit geo-engineering/chemtrails is happening worldwide, because to do so would expose that the carbon tax scheme, which is based on the ridiculous idea that man is causing global warming via emissions of carbon dioxide, is a scam.

      • shaun laughton. says:

        hit the nail on the head there clare, chemtrails, is the biggest threat we all face at the moment, and if we dont put a stop to them very soon, we are in deep poo!!!

    • shaun laughton. says:

      on th whole sarah i cant argue with that, but all i can say is, maggie thatcher, now that werent a nice creature !!!

  5. Kay says:

    S’okay i’ve got soap.

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